Poem, snippets and essays of my life
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Category: Healing
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My Birth
My mother’s father, Samuel Joseph Cawley, died three days before I was born and was buried in a paupers grave in Van Nys, California, alone and still drunk so the embalmer had it easy. My mother went into labor etherized and alone, and, hearing “ it’s a girl”, sighed into her peignoir and turned her […]
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“The Red Kerchief” Claud Monet
I wanted him to notice me. It wasn’t that difficult to see what I wanted. In winter he stayed inside all the time. Painting. He was. All the time. Winter, always a danger to everyone, young and old. No freedom in winter. Too much freedom for him. I wandered by that day wearing red, A […]
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Virus
Child’s Game “Hold your breath!” passing a graveyard we said In the back seat of a 57 Ford gravely acknowledging the dead. Now, out walking, I hold my hand over my mouth careful to not breathe in air of living people passing.
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Christmas Eve
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Make Butter
How to Make Butter
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Starfish
No Safe Place 3 Attachment Last night between midnight and one am a Starfish crept through my dream of a beach in Maine. It was pale and faded. I couldn’t feel it. Because the starfish is losing its ability to function normally, dreams may have to be revised. Starfish are Echinoderms, belonging to the class […]
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Second Floor Window
Second Floor Window People have always asked me if I live alone? I think I must seem like a pack animal. The urge to gather warmth around me so obvious to others but I remain oblivious. From my own personal observation I notice my happiest times are when I am alone reflecting on […]
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Last Night I Saw My…
Last night no one knew if it was the sun setting or the moon rising but it was orange: hung there by a wire moving around our sky, currents of warm air lifting and lowering its round shape enough to light the narrow, soft roads crisscrossing the sandy summer peninsula. One young woman pushing her […]
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This Afternoon
I like young old men. Men whose twinkle never faded like some lust or the memory of really good vanilla ice cream. I like the round muscle of their arms, the temptation of golden skin, and the quick way they look at me for what seems like a long time while we are kissing. Each […]
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