Category: Alone

  • Why I Changed My Mind…

    Why I Changed My Mind...

    “Why I changed my mind about Meghan and Harry” I’ve been looking forward to the Netflix documentary about Meaghan and Harry just like a lot of folks who are British royal family fans. It’s a harmless and pleasant pursuit during this never-ending time of “staying home with Covid” and we are all desperate for things […]

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  • Happiness

    Happiness

    Freshly painted on my pathway

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  • Two Chaise Lounges

    Two Chaise Lounges

    Under the umbrella by the pool are two quilted chaise lounges, like the rollers in factories used  to move small items to the next station. If you run your hand over them you will feel symmetry of each roll until you don’t. Their slope is inviting as one can see it’s the shape of a body unconscious waiting to be lifted upward by a parent or a lover. […]

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  • I let you haunt me

    I let you haunt me

    In the beginning I was the one with the power. Or at least I thought I was. I had such faith in the power of the sashay of my hips that I never minded walking away. I never even had to turn around to know that you were panting after me. I could hear your […]

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  • Words in Gardens

    Words in Gardens

    Garden words Stop Listen Close your eyes Feel Kiss Smell Brilliant Bring back anything good Ferns Words begin with w Mouth lips Risk it Say it Do it Be the tree’s root Fragile Temporary Contemplation Fidelity Loss Absurd There’s a garden in Scotland called “Little Sparta” and it inspired me to to be more creative […]

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  • My Mother gets Religeon or…

    My Mother gets Religeon or...

    When my mother was dying she began to wonder about religion. My Mom had a great way of putting things. Once, when we went to Walmart for picture hangers, she told me I was too competent and that was why there was no man in my life. I found this hysterical but also probably accurate. […]

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  • Child

    Integration There’s a moment when a child stops playing in her imagination as there is “Another” watching. The play become something other than sole imaginary play and is now “observed” play. The child comes out of her unconscious and is now conscious of her presence in the world .No one really remembers this moment except […]

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  • The bees outside my window

    The bees outside my window

    Outside my kitchen window there is a city of bees above the hydrangea bushes. The bees are like bustling helicopters whose rotor blades are very slow and synchronized with one another as if they have practiced this dance many times before. They are big bees and very fat which means they must be very satisfied […]

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  • My Birth

    My mother’s father, Samuel Joseph Cawley, died three days before I was born and was buried in a paupers grave in Van Nys, California, alone and still drunk so the embalmer had it easy. My mother went into labor etherized and alone, and, hearing “ it’s a girl”, sighed into her peignoir and turned her […]

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  • “The Red Kerchief” Claud Monet

    “The Red Kerchief” Claud Monet

    I wanted him to notice me. It wasn’t that difficult to see what I wanted. In winter he stayed inside all the time. Painting. He was. All the time. Winter, always a danger to everyone, young and old. No freedom in winter. Too much freedom for him. I wandered by that day wearing red, A […]

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