This morning for the second time I took a walk with my little Sadie up the street into the graveyard of our local church. There’s a place there where people put the cremated remains of their loved ones. I always feel drawn to this place as it is strangely peaceful, but also filled with a spiritual energy that I have never encountered before. The design is circular and benches are built along the inside edge, so if you come in the entrance and sit down, you’re leaning against the ashes of quite a few other people. I think that these people must’ve purchased these shoebox like spots for their families a while ago, as some of them are clearly taken, but still blank.
I am an obsessive person so planning for disaster is my middle name.
I have carefully written out instructions for my funeral, because I don’t want my children to have to bother making all those plans. I have gone so far as to write down the music that I think would be lovely to have. For example: Frank Sinatra singing “Fly me to the moon” would be just about perfect. I am also hopeful that there will be delicious things to eat and plenty of good wine and champagne. I hope that someone interesting will say some good words and people will laugh and remember me.
I never really thought about what would happen after that but after visiting this lovely spot on the street, I think it would be nice to be tucked away in some shoebox shelf in there where people come and sit with their dogs, and reflect on life.
I realize that it’s important to imagine all these details because I’m getting close to the end of the runway. I’m not afraid of dying. I’m just afraid of missing out on seeing my grandchildren grow up. That’s the weird thing about life as my mother used to say, “When your time is up, your time is up!”
Anyhow, while I’m sitting there with all the ashes in the shoeboxes, I sometimes get messages from people whose ashes are in those shoeboxes. Needless to say, I can’t exactly tell people this or they’ll lock me up. It is interesting because I’ve always been pretty psychic but when I go into that circle everything ramps up. I’m trying to get some tips on the stock market, but so far I’ve just had husbands, communicating with wives who are still living on the Earth.
I’m very tempted to ask if there is an afterlife, but I guess the answer would be yes or they wouldn’t be able to communicate with me unless they’re hanging around in some sort of Bardo.
I think that one thing I have discovered that I am so grateful for is if you keep trying to figure out how to be the best person you can possibly be when you get close to the end of your life, you really feel much more peaceful.
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