I’ve been trying to write a Young Adult piece for a while now but I can’t really get into it. I like the imagining part and I can see the character clearly but I can’t make her move forward after drawing her. I like what she is doing and I think she is clear to me in her motives but I can’t figure out her future. This stops me from pursuing her path every morning. Finally, this morning I could understand why this is…. None of us can see the future. We are all siting around waiting for something to happen, to change, and nothing seems to. What’s here is here and repeats itself. The virus abates but then increases but in different areas. The vaccine does its job but then it doesn’t. “Groundhog Day”.

I try everything to overcome these feelings of hopeless, ennui, sadness, loss, and lethargy in my life. I have never walked further, but then again, I find myself eating junk food, something I have never done. I am more independent, more sympathetic, more forgiving but much less interested in being around others who are less so. I’ve become intolerant of the unevolved and the narcissistic. I am very tolerant of children and animals. I now like the color red. I remember what it’s like to sleep next to a lover though I do not have one. I thought this morning I might never have one again which didn’t see to frighten me as it once had.

I think I am not alone in this.