nothing to pin down

The funniest thing about life is the jokes you don’t get for a long time. The funniest joke to me is the fact that we really have no control over anything, least of all ourselves. I have spent so much time worrying about what I said or did and how it would affect someone else. What that other person thought of me, how I could change what that other person thought of me. Tonight I was reading Warren Buffet’s new biography,  which is very interesting by the way, and he spoke of how one is scripted in life: whether it be from the outside or the inside. If on is scripted from the inside one lives life for oneself: the achievements are noted and taken in by one’s own psyche. Most parents raise kids to be scripted by the world in terms of what achievements mean and what is important. We praise our kids for accomplishing things that are meaningful to the community rather than encouraging  kids to find what is meaningful to them. Many really successful people I have known are interested only in what they look like to the world: they have little inner life nor have they developed real relationships with others. They are always moving on from successes looking for the next thing they “should” do for their lives to look really good. I am really trying to learn what makes me proud of myself and then enjoy it when it happens.

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