I met two guys who know how to fix stuff:

Make things out of wood

Rescue women and children first

Keep a fire going

Laugh at farting and cry at war

But they’re taken.


I am interviewing men.

I have been continuing this process since January of ‘95.

There have been many applicants

Some more entertaining than others.

You have to watch carefully to determine

If they have a cage or a box or

Maybe a behavioral book

On their person.

And, oh yes, look at their tongues

For forkedness.


I have thong underwear,

A lie detector machine,

An American Express Platinum card,

Invisible children,

An enormous library,

A Sonic Care toothbrush,

A fast car,

Caller I. D.

And an endless capacity to giggle.


I am tired.

Just as I say I am giving up

Up pops another offering.

I am a sucker for nice hands.


In the end I say

Here are some poems to read

And they walk away into the night

White sheaf of paper a broken wing under their arm.

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