I met two guys who know how to fix stuff:
Make things out of wood
Rescue women and children first
Keep a fire going
Laugh at farting and cry at war
But they’re taken.
I am interviewing men.
I have been continuing this process since January of ‘95.
There have been many applicants
Some more entertaining than others.
You have to watch carefully to determine
If they have a cage or a box or
Maybe a behavioral book
On their person.
And, oh yes, look at their tongues
I have thong underwear,
A lie detector machine,
An American Express Platinum card,
An enormous library,
A Sonic Care toothbrush,
A fast car,
Caller I. D.
And an endless capacity to giggle.
I am tired.
Just as I say I am giving up
Up pops another offering.
I am a sucker for nice hands.
In the end I say
Here are some poems to read
And they walk away into the night
White sheaf of paper a broken wing under their arm.