I mean it!  Though I would consider myself an optimist, I will not believe the positive news on the economy in the news media as it is improbable. There is no way the world can turn around on the head of a pin and become solvent, safe and economically sound in this short a period of time. There is no way our banks can become stabilized or our economic markets, balanced. We are simply unwilling to wait out this recession as we are all impatient with pain. I see people out in the malls carrying shopping bags and it makes me worried. I think about their credit card balances creeping up again and the amount of debt they are carrying. I think about how they will face their mortgage payment or rent due bill and I imagine the fear that will undoubtedly hit once people realize their spendable income is depleted and their assets have not grown.  In this country and perhaps in the world  people do not like to look at the future in terms of their own mortality but this is an exercise I have been practicing recently. I imagine how long I will live with all good luck and then I map out how much money I will need to live that long a period of time. I take into account the possible rate of inflation in future and come up with a figure I will need so that I will be self sustainable. It used to be clear to me that my future would be sound and money would not be a fear I needed to have. I think that many of us have realized that life as we knew it may not be the same in the future. Many of us have done the same exercise I have just described and realized that some changes will have to be made.I am not the biggest fan of changes in lifestyle, don’t get me wrong. I have been fortunate enough to have lived a great life and to have been able to do almost everything I wanted to do. I am doing a different kind of future reflection these days having just experienced my 60th birthday and noticing what has come up for me in terms of fear. I have always thought fear to be the most debilatating of emotions as it has the power to paralyse us right in our tracks and prevent us from moving forward or even sideways. I think fear is becoming an emotion we are losing track of as it is so appropriate at this time. We should be fearful about the world as we know it because it is only by being fearful that we will effect change and focus on stabilizing our world. I really believe we need to recognize that our lives are permanently changed and our behavior needs to change as a result of this. I feel like a punitive school teacher sayiing this but in my heart I know it to be true.

There’s a lot to be said for shelling peas on the back porch and then making the most delicious, bright green soup for dinner.I took my first trip to the Marin farmers market with a friend yesterday and decided that the $28.00 I spent was the best bargain I had made in almost my entire life. Not only was I satisfied in body but my mind was alive with the positive energy of the place, the young farmers as well as the young mothers buying fresh produce for their kids.A happy time that was priceless!