Certain people are liars, and certain people are not. For example, every time I try to lie I start to laugh. This has been a serious disability in my life. Even when I was a child, I did try to lie to protect people around me but then I realized because of the laughter I just had to stay quiet.

 

I’m not really sure why people lie, but a lot of people do it. Once, I asked a person who I really cared about why he was lying and he had no response. He actually said to me he didn’t know why. I find that lying is really an uncomfortable thing to do because it catches up with you. It’s like a really fast greyhound dog with sharp pointed white teeth. You never know when that dog is going to get you and when it does it’s going to nip your Achilles tendon and that will be it.

 

Maybe five years or so ago I had trouble walking and I finally went to a foot doctor who told me that I had a calcanea fracture which was caused by Lord only knows what. He told me the name had originated from the play Romeo and Juliet, because Romeo was jumping out of Juliet ‘s window and landed hard on his heel fracturing it. I didn’t want to argue with him, because I wanted to get good care but it was pretty clear that Romeo and Juliet has nothing to do with calcanea.

 

I don’t like jumping out of anybody’s room least of all my own. Now I’m learning as I get older that if I jump it might be a problem. Actually, most things having to do with movement are more difficult as one gets older as you have to look where you’re going and put  your feet carefully there and you have to have a handrail to hold on to and most of all you have to admit to yourself that you’re no longer a spring chicken.

 

That’s the biggest problem of all. I have so many friends who are my age or older and they keep pretending that they’re not. They’re forcing themselves to exercise like crazy people or have plastic surgery over and over again. They also think they can look and act and dress as if their time on this earth has been extended indefinitely.

 

I don’t really understand this because I feel like I’ve had enough time on this earth. If I have just a little more time then I’m going to see everything so clearly and I’ll be able to impart knowledge to the people that I love. That’s what I really want to do. It’s all that really matters. And all the latest experiments with psychedelic drugs say what people want in the end is love and it’s all that matters.I believe it.

 

The most important thing in life is to open your heart. I’ve been ordering can openers for quite a while, actually for months, because I have a disability in my left hand. I’m thinking maybe this habit of mine will transfer to a heart opener. I don’t think a can opener and a heart opener are the same thing but one never knows. It’s still an implement that’s used to open something. I’ve been thinking that in my life the implements that i have used open my heart have been compassion and love but they can be undependable. Sometimes present and sometimes not.

 

We older people have a lot of wisdom if we really think about it. We have to become more sure of our elder status rather than denying it. I have learned many lessons in life and some I’ve had to learn several times. These are the best lessons because they are so very clear.