Last night I swam in my underwear. Probably many people have done this in their lifetime, but I have not done this before. I wanted to swim, it was a beautiful night, and my bathing suit was upstairs and I was downstairs, so I convinced myself that my camisole looked like a bathing suit.…
Spinal Surgery Eight weeks ago I had spine surgery and it took 7 hours to make me less fragile but I am still fragile. I told the anesthesiologist I was anxious and he wrote I had a “psychiatric disorder” in my chart. He had black, thick hair and sat back in his seat…
I have a problem with abandonment. There’s no reason to ask myself why. It’s perfectly clear to me. I’ve had it all my life. I remember when my mother was dropping me off at nursery school when I was four and I told her I didn’t want to get out of the car. She said…
I wish I could write: “Last night I dreamed of Manderley”, but last night I dreamt of my father. It was the strangest dream I’ve ever had. I was on vacation with some friends, and I had promised my father to go on vacation with him. We were settling into our rooms when suddenly I…
I keep playing tricks on my psychiatrist. I know this is insane but isn’t that why I’m seeing him? Sometimes I bring out large animal masks and when the Zoom starts present myself as a tiger or a lion. He can’t seem to stop laughing. I love this so much that I keep doing it.…
We save what we can now because there’s so little space left. Yesterday I noticed San Francisco had slipped partially into the bay. As I was packing up yet another box I noticed I was no longer attached to a baby photo of myself, holding a doll that look like it had been drowned. I…
Every time I get sick, I think I’m going to die. A simple cold becomes the beginnings of sinus problems, which turn into a brain tumor and before I know it, I’m making the decision between cremation and burial all by myself. Then, miraculously, the cold leaves, and I forget that I actually thought I…