Tag: pain

  • Child

    Integration There’s a moment when a child stops playing in her imagination as there is “Another” watching. The play become something other than sole imaginary play and is now “observed” play. The child comes out of her unconscious and is now conscious of her presence in the world .No one really remembers this moment except […]

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  • The bees outside my window

    The bees outside my window

    Outside my kitchen window there is a city of bees above the hydrangea bushes. The bees are like bustling helicopters whose rotor blades are very slow and synchronized with one another as if they have practiced this dance many times before. They are big bees and very fat which means they must be very satisfied […]

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  • My Birth

    My mother’s father, Samuel Joseph Cawley, died three days before I was born and was buried in a paupers grave in Van Nys, California, alone and still drunk so the embalmer had it easy. My mother went into labor etherized and alone, and, hearing “ it’s a girl”, sighed into her peignoir and turned her […]

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  • Imprinting

    I am working on an imprinting machine and it’s kind of like Konrad Lorenz did with his ducks. Only this time everyone that wants to feel better about themselves can go through my machine and be imprinted with a more powerful, confident personality. It’s slightly painful but you forget that immediately because you take steps […]

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  • My House

    Flash 2 My House       I live alone people think but in fact my house has so many inhabitants I have to be careful when moving through it. There are many men lurking about in my closets and bedroom all of whom seem angry and hungry. The kitchen contains some young ones with […]

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  • Starfish

    Starfish

    No Safe Place 3 Attachment Last night between midnight and one am a Starfish crept through my dream of a beach in Maine. It was pale and faded. I couldn’t feel it. Because the starfish is losing its ability to function normally, dreams may have to be revised.  Starfish are Echinoderms, belonging to the class […]

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  • Shades of Gray

    Shades of Gray   When you’re a child you think everyone tells the truth. You think your mother and father will be together forever. When you see your first divorce it’s kind of like seeing your first accident. You can’t believe this could happen Sometimes people stay together because they can’t stand to be alone. […]

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  • Despair

      This summer the windows in the house steam up like they used to when there were teenagers inside. All that glorious passion every morning. This summer everything is slightly off: The gaits of the horses, the timing of the stoplights, the phases of the moon, the beat of people’s hearts. Reports keep coming of […]

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  • Craters in the moon

    When I was eight years old my father brought home home a long, rectangular cardboard box which he opened after dinner carefully outside our front door. It was a clear night and warm as I recall and he removed from the box like a surgeon removing a baby from the belly of an unconscious woman […]

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  • Loss

    Loss

    Loss In the gray half open eye period prior to full alert status I feel a touch or maybe an outstretched limb, a phantom connection I may remember. Warm and wanting.. Delaying the awakening I dwell there In hopeful desire among my fresh sheets, memories of sun fragrant and salt drying, my fingers on your […]

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